Decadent Chocolate Cakes

Since the cakes can be made ahead of time, this dessert is not only elegant, but easy. Your guests will be impressed with the presentation. Even the skinny bitches won’t be able to resist the triple chocolate delight. Watch them dredge their fingers across the crystal for every last decadent taste.

There is no reason you cannot make the cup cakes from scratch. I just don’t.

Switch things up and use half dark chocolate chips and half white chocolate, or see below for more options. Use a scoop of ice cream if necessary.

Decadent Chocolate Cakes

1 box of your favorite chocolate cake mix

1 ½ cups of dark chocolate chips

1 jar of store-bought hot fudge sauce

1 can or container of whipped cream

Make the cup cakes according to directions.
Add the chocolate chips to the batter.
Pour into greased muffin tins.
Bake according to directions.
My Betty Crocker box says 20-25 minutes.
Let cool.
Put one cake each into a stemmed goblet.
Top with heated hot fudge and whipped cream.

Options: Besides the white chocolate suggestion above, try crumbling Oreos into the batter or using a favorite crushed candy bar such as Butterfinger or Heath bar.

Wine: Cabernet Sauvignon or coffee with orange liquor such as Grand Marnier or the cheaper Gran Gala

Winter Squash & Apple Soup

I call this Harvest Apple & Squash Soup in the autumn, and Winter Apple & Squash Soup in, well, you figure it out.

I first had this made by a local restaurant at a function where restaurants were paired up with retail stores downtown to encourage shopping. As if I need encouragement…I did get nourishment. And a new bag. With matching shoes. And I tried on a vintage fur. I didn’t buy it. I’m going back for it.

Winter Apple & Squash Soup

1 large butternut squash, chopped

2 apples, peeled & chopped

3 cups vegetable or chicken broth

a small handful of rosemary

1 baggie of cauliflower puree, thawed (see recipe)

¼ cup flour

½ stick butter

½ cup or less of cream (I use half & half)

Put the first four ingredients in a pot, bring to a boil, then simmer until squash is soft, about 15 minutes.
Put it all in a blender and puree until smooth.
You may have to do this in batches.
Return it all to the pot.
Add cauliflower, flour, butter and cream.


Make it a meal: Serve with focaccia and steamed broccoli.

Wine: Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, or Rosé

Moules Mariniere

Every mussel recipe I find says to debeard the mussels first. I have never found I needed to do this, perhaps since I do not purchase my moules from the pier. I get them from the supermarket or fish store like every other diva who does not live on the coast.

Mussels, or moules for our French divas, offer wondrous variety. I start with a basic recipe and play around from there. Discreet divas can play around. (photo by viZZZual.com)

Moules Mariniere

2 lbs. mussels stored in the refrigerator until needed

1/2 cup dry white wine

1/4 cup chopped shallots

2 cloves minced garlic

1 tablespoon chopped parsley

1 tablespoon thyme

1/2 stick butter

Saute shallots, garlic, and thyme in butter.
Run water over mussels to wash away grit.
Turn heat to high, add mussels and wine and cover the pan.
Steam for 5-6 minutes or until shells are open and meats are not translucent.
Remove from heat and place mussels into a large bowl.
Discard any unopened shells.
Pour broth over mussels.
Serve immediately.
Serve with crusty French bread for mopping up broth.

Options: Use parsley or oregano instead of or with thyme; use vermouth or clam juice instead of white wine, use more garlic (I do); use onions or scallions instead of shallots; add in a bit of Pernod for a sweeter flavor; add a chili pepper for a spicy dish.

Make it a meal: Serve moules as an appetizer for four or a main dish for two. Serve with a side salad in the case of the latter.

Wine: Chardonnay

Bacon-Wrapped Salmon Over Spinach

This dish is so easy. I am lucky the man in my life loves salmon. Of course, being a man, he also loves bacon. He adores this dish, and divas love adoring men. This recipe serves two. In the oven, the bacon bastes the salmon, so there is no need for a sauce.

Bacon-Wrapped Salmon Over Spinach

1 lb. of salmon fillet, cut into 3 or 4 pieces

3-4 slices of bacon (turkey bacon is fine)

salt & pepper

a couple of spoonfuls of Dijon or spicy brown mustard

1 large shallot (or a few slices of onion), chopped

2 glugs olive oil

1 bag fresh spinach, stems chopped off

Salt & pepper each fillet, then smear with a bit of mustard.
Wrap each piece of salmon fillet with a piece of bacon (tuck the ends underneath).
Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes depending on the thickness of salmon (salmon should flake when done).
If needed, broil for 1 minute to finish cooking bacon.
Meanwhile, saute shallots in olive oil 3-5 minutes.
Add spinach and cook and stir for 1-2 minutes.
Serve salmon over spinach.

Make it a meal: What else do you need?

Wine: Pinot Noir or Chardonnay

Broccoli & Cheddar Soup

I love soup during the winter season. I eat take them to work for lunch, and they make a great light dinner. Throwing everything into the crock pot makes this luscious soup easy, too.

This creamy soup does not have to be calorie-packed. Use low-fat condensed soups and 1% milk. The cauliflower puree adds creaminess and nutrients without calories. I don't use light cheese, though, since it doesn't seem to melt as well. Besides, divas need to be a little decadent.

Broccoli & Cheddar Soup

1 (10 oz.) pkg. frozen, chopped broccoli, not thawed

1 bag of cauliflower puree (see recipe)

1 can cream of celery soup (or cream of chicken)

2 cups milk

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

Salt and pepper to taste

Put all ingredients in crock pot in order above.
Turn crock pot on low.
Cook on low for 5-6 hours.
Cauliflower or asparagus can be used also.
If it seems too thick, add more milk.

Options: Try cutting the cheddar with Gouda or Gruyere for a divine taste.

Make it a meal: Serve with garlic bread.

Wine: Chardonnay or Cabernet Sauvignon

Pasta with Salmon & Capers

Serve your salmon-loving friends this elegant and easy dish. For those of you not watching your pennies, substitute caviar for capers. I envy you. We should get together sometime.

Pasta with Salmon & Capers

1/2 lb. pasta (I used orecchiette)

1 cup cream (half and half works fine)

2 slices red onion, chopped

½ cup Parmesan cheese, grated

1 tbsp. parsley

6 oz. smoked salmon pieces, cut into strips

handful of capers

knob of butter (optional for non-dieting divas)

Cook pasta until al dente.
Drain and set aside.
Combine cream and onion in a heavy saucepan over medium high heat.
Simmer 2 minutes and remove from heat.
Gently stir in remaining ingredients and serve over pasta.

Options: substitute caviar for capers; chives work well, too

Make it a meal: Serve with side salad or roasted broccoli (see recipe)

Wine: Pinot Noir or Chardonnay

Romano Crusted Tilapia

This elegant fish is makes a romantic dinner for two. It is a fairly quick recipe. You can make it while you sip a glass of Chardonnay, and the two of you are discussing your upcoming vacation to Aspen. Or will Vail be better this year?

Romano Crusted Tilapia

2 tilapia fillets (4-6 oz. each)

1 cup of Romano cheese, grated

1 cup or so of flour for dredging (I use whole wheat flour)

1 egg, beaten

1 clove of garlic, chopped

1 tbsp. of olive oil

a spot of white wine (whatever you are sipping will do)

1 scoop of capers, drained

1/4 cup of chicken stock

a squeeze of lemon

salt & pepper

a knob of butter

Dredge the tilapia fillets in plain flour.
Mix Romano into flour.
Dip the fillets in the egg, and dredge a second time through the flour and cheese mix.
Heat up a pan and pour some olive oil into it.
Place the Romano crusted tilapia fillets in the frying pan and fry them until they are brown on both sides.
Remove the Romano crusted tilapia fillets from the pan and keep them warm.
Add some more olive oil to the pan and sauté the garlic in the oil.
Add white wine, capers and chicken stock to the frying pan.
Squeeze lemon juice over the frying pan and season with salt and pepper.
Allow the sauce to reduce by half.
Remove the sauce from the heat and add the butter.
Place the Romano crusted tilapia fillets on serving dishes and pour sauce over them.

Options: Add chopped tomatoes to the pan at the same time as the garlic. This adds nutrients, flavor, and color.

Make it a meal: Serve with steamed sugar snap peas—no seasoning.

Wine: Chardonnay, of course. Open another bottle.

Cheesy Artichoke Chicken

This is another gorgeous crock pot recipe. The cauliflower puree makes this dish extra creamy and nutritious, and the Gouda makes it rich and divine. Kids will love this dish, but perhaps Gouda is wasted on their underdeveloped palates. Make theirs with American cheese. In addition, they may not appreciate artichokes and peas will do fine instead.

Cheesy Artichoke Chicken

1 lbs boneless chicken breast tenders, cubed

6 oz roasted red peppers, chopped (I get mine from a jar)

1 can (15oz) artichoke hearts, quartered

8 oz. Gouda, cubed or shredded

2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

1 can cream of anything soup (I like celery, low-fat)

1 bag of cauliflower puree (see recipe)

2 cups cheddar cheese, cubed or shredded

8 oz. cooked pasta (I use orecchiette)

salt & pepper to taste

Combine chicken, peppers, artichokes, Gouda, Worcestershire sauce, and soup in the crock pot.
Cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.
About 15 minutes before serving, add shredded Cheddar cheese and hot cooked pasta.
Add salt and pepper as needed.

Make it a meal: Serve with rosemary bread.

Wine: Chardonnay or Chianti

Chardonnay Queen's Favorite Wine Quotes

What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch? ~ W. C. Fields

Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it. ~ Anonymous

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. ~ Ernest Hemingway

Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance. ~ Benjamin Franklin

I have lived temperately....I double the doctor's recommendation of a glass and a half of wine each day and even treble it with a friend. ~ Thomas Jefferson

I think it is a great error to consider a heavy tax on wines as a tax on luxury. On the contrary, it is a tax on the health of our citizens. ~ Thomas Jefferson

If your heart is warm with happiness, you'll need a glass - if sorrow chills your heart, have two! ~ Hannu Lehmusvuori

Remember gentlemen, it's not just France we are fighting for, its Champagne!
~Winston Churchill

Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized. ~ Andre Simon, "Commonsense of Wine"

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to a lack of wine. ~ Anonymous

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days. ~W. C. Fields

Good wine is a necessity of life for me. ~ Thomas Jefferson

Alcohol, if taken in sufficient quantities, can give one the illusion of drunkenness.
~Oscar Wilde

Consuming wine in moderation daily will help people to die young as late as possible. ~ Dr Philip Norrie

Wine is the thinking person's health drink. ~Dr. Phillip Norrie

Three are the things I shall never attain--Envy, content and sufficient champagne.
~Dorothy Parker

If a life of wine, women and song becomes too much, give up the singing.
~ Anonymous

This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. ~Samuel Johnson

Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right. ~Mark Twain

I have enjoyed great health at a great age because everyday since I can remember I have consumed a bottle of wine except when I have not felt well. Then I have consumed two bottles. ~ A Bishop of Seville

Plant no tree sooner than the vine. ~Alcaeus, 580 BC

I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food. ~ W.C. Fields

You haven't drunk too much wine if you can still lie on the floor without holding on. ~ Dean Martin

No one that has drunk old wine wants new; for he says, "The old is nice." ~ Luke 5:39

Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages. ~ Louis Pasteur

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? ~ Cardinal Richeleu

What is better than to sit at the table at the end of the day and drink wine with friends, or substitutes for friends? ~ James Joyce

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Whenever a man is tired, wine is a great restorer of strength. ~ Homer, The IliadIn water one sees one's own face;
But in wine one beholds the heart of another. ~ French proverb

May our love be like good wine, grow stronger as it grows older. ~ Old English Toast

Eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart. ~ Ecclesiastes 9:7

The wine had such ill effects on Noah's health that it was all he could do to live 950 years. Just nineteen years short of Methuselah. Show me a total abstainer that ever lived that long. ~Will Rogers (1879-1935)

Where there is no wine there is no love. ~ Euripides

To us and people just like us! ~a Killington, VT toast

Krauted Sloppy Joes

Here's another kid pleaser. The sauerkraut and chili powder give this old favorite a nice zing. Divas are all about the zing. This diva eats Sloppy Joes as an open-faced sandwich and on only half the bun. We need to watch those carbs! (photo by bucklava)

Krauted Sloppy Joes

1 lb. hamburger, browned and drained

1 (14 oz. ) fresh or canned sauerkraut (You can guess which I use)

1 1/2 cup BBQ Sauce (I like Jack Daniels, another surprise)

1 tbsp. mustard (brown is good)

1 tsp. garlic powder

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 tsp. chili powder

2 dashes of salt

1 dash of pepper

Put it all in the crock pot and cook on low for 4 hours.
Serve on rolls.

Make it a meal: Serve with Cheesy Peas (see recipe) or cole slaw.

Wine: It would be wrong to serve your kids wine. They'd be better off with milk. Serving to an adult crowd? A glass of Chianti would be nice.

Slow Cooker Sausage & Sauerkraut

This is a heavy, hearty, manly dish. Divas love it when men love their food. Divas love it even more when men clean the dishes. Luckily, there is not much to clean with this crock pot recipe, so this diva and her man can get back to painting her toenails.

Slow Cooker Sausage & Sauerkraut

1 (20 oz.) can sauerkraut

1/4 cup brown sugar

1 1/2-2 lbs. sausage (I like hot, of course)

1 onion, sliced

Place the onions on the bottom of the crock pot.
Add half of the sauerkraut.
Sprinkle on half of the brown sugar.
Add the sausage.
Finish with the rest of the sauerkraut and sugar.
Cook on high for two hours, check for dryness, adding some water if necessary, then reduce to low setting, and cook on low for two more hours.

Options: Substitute kielbasa for sausage or apples for onions. The latter gives the recipe a much sweeter taste.

Make it a meal: Serve with Apple Salad with Honey-Yogurt Dressing (see recipe)

Wine: Valpolicella, a nice red from Italy, a robust Rioja from Spain, or if you prefer a sweeter taste for this German dish try a Riesling.

Apple Salad with Honey-Yogurt Dressing

I served this to my guests on New Year's Eve. It was gone in moments. It was a nice accompaniment to the heavier dish of sausage and sauerkraut. The recipe calls for three apples and I use a combination of green and my newest favorite Pink Lady which creates a blend of tart and sweet. The dressing can be made ahead of time. (Photo by Y)

Apple Salad

3 apples, unpeeled and diced

2 stalks celery, sliced

a small handful of shredded carrots (I get mine from a bag)

a few scoops of raisins (I like golden)

a handful of pecans, chopped

Honey-Yogurt Dressing

1/2 c. plain yogurt

2 tbsp. vegetable oil

2 tbsp. honey

1 tbsp. champagne vinegar

1 1/2 tsp. Dijon mustard

salt & pepper

Whisk Honey-Yogurt Dressing ingredients together and set aside.
Combine apples, celery, carrot, raisins, and pecans in a large bowl.
Pour Honey-Yogurt Dressing over apple mixture; toss gently to combine.
Chill 2 to 3 hours.
Serve salad in a lettuce-lined bowl.

Options: Substitute craisins or walnuts.

Make it a meal: Serve with Sausage & Sauerkraut (see recipe)

Wine: Champagne or Chardonnay